Happy Birthday Olena...

We have been home just over 1 month and things are finally settling in. I am a mom! I can't believe it. Yes I am just now starting to feel like a parent. These past few weeks have been so emotional and chotiac that I haven't really had an opportunity to let it all set in. This past Saturday was her 2nd birthday. It was a great day...but I will get to that in a minute. Saturday was also the day that I think my heart finally realized what has happen to my life...this beautiful little girl. I somewhat "avoided" the idea of her birthday all week, then at the last minute (Saturday morning) I was scrambling around trying to get everything done. I didn't really want to celebrate her birthday. Yes - I said it! I know it sounds cruel but I started to think about it and for as long as I can remember, I have thought of birthdays as "YOUR" day...your day to get everything you want...do what you want...and have everyone spoil you. But in reality, it is a day for your parents too. A day for us to remember and smile about the day you were born, smile about the person you have become, and think about how it seems like just yesterday that the Doctor put you in their arms. I started to feel sad, because I did not have any of these memories. I don't even know what time of the day she was born.

Throughout the morning, I managed to get everything done and get to my parents house and still had a great time. We went to the Community indoor pool which is like a mini water park, with water slide and all. There were my 2 aunts, my mom, my bestfriend, my uncle and 7 of my little cousins (6yo-11yr) and we had a great time. She absolutely loved the water and wasn't nervous one bit. She even went down the water slide in my lap and screamed with joy the entire time down. After a few hours of that, we went back to my parents house, had pizza, cake and presents, then the aunts/uncle left and we had a slumber party. I felt bad because she didn't really play with them too much but they still tried to have a good time with her. They all absolutely adore her!! Then, Sunday morning we wrapped them all up and sent them outside to play in the snow. They pulled her around in a sled and each took turns carrying her around. Poor little thing. It was bad enough that she looked like the little boy in the Christmas Story, she could barely walk, all you could see were her eyes, and these kids were dragging her from one side of the yard to the other (my parents have over an acre of land!!!) it was pretty comical to watch.

Finally after the long weekend, I sat in her room Sunday night rocking her to sleep and thinking about the events of the previous days. There were lots of things that we did that were "firsts" in her life. I watched her face light up with joy as we sang Happy Birthday to her, I seen her curious eyes explore everything while we were in the pool, and I heard her squeels of joy when we went down the slide. These are all things that I will remember in the years to come, and the things that will warm my heart with each passing birthday. Then I kid you not, at that moment she sat up kissed me and said "LA LOU" (which is her way of saying "love you") that was it - right then and there- it hit me. I love my daughter, she was mine, and she is perfect for us. She is here with us learning how to be part of a family...she is learning how to love and to be loved. She is learning what it is like to be a little kid, and she is developing her own likes and dislikes. Granted I wasn't in her life when her little body came into this world, but I am with her now...when her spirit is being born. Happy Birthday Olena!