Regarding Kissack Post

Tonya was talking about things that related to Lyra's adoption and asked for other parents' stories. Here are a few of mine.

• I had a dream in August of 2006 that Jay and I were camping with the family. I had a toddler in my arms with dark, very short hair, huge dark eyes and pudgy cheeks. She kept telling me that she was 2. My aunt also walked into our tent and she was pregnant, which really surprised me, and surprised the whole family. I called my grandma that morning and told her about the dream. I personally kept visualizing a blond hair blue eyed, 3 or 4 year old when I thought about our future daughter. Also nobody was expecting this particular aunt to get pregnant or have any more kids. Well while in Ukraine, we found our dark haired dark eyed 2 year old, and found out my aunt, the same one, was 2 months pregnant. Surprise!
• We have a friend who is clairvoyant. While at a bbq one night we were talking about the adoption and she told me that my future daughter was currently 9 months old. This was on the night of October 31, 2005. (Olena's bday is 1/20/2005) I laughed at her because at this time I was expecting to travel by December/January 2005- this was before the big shut down. I knew that my awaiting child would not be any younger than 15 months. If it was October and I would be travelling in a few months, than there is NO WAY my daughter is only 9 months old. Who would have thought at that time it would be well over a year before I actually did get to travel. And what do you know...Olena was exactly 9 months old in October of 2005.
• I starting keeping a journal when we began our adoption. On January 18, 2005 I wrote my "daughter" a letter. Expressed my excitement and how happy I was to be coming for her. We were in the process of waiting for the agency to send us the final home study. It is hard to imagine she hadn't even been born yet.
• We started the adoption process in May of 2004. That would be around the time that Olena's birth mother finds out she is pregnant.
• January 20, 2006 (Olena's first birthday) I received the "letter" via snail mail from the NAC that we will be considered for an appointment in 2006. Jason and I discuss backing out of the process because of the shut down.

I am sure that there are more but it doesn't matter, we were obviously meant for each other. There is no doubt in my mind. My dreams and heart have always been set on adopting a girl from Eastern Europe. It is like I always knew. The second Jason and I started talking family, I was determined to get this adoption completed. It is hard to explain and it is sort of Corny, but my heart has always been pulled in that direction. No matter how many times I considered backing out and no matter how mad I got, I knew that I would NEVER really quit. And now, even though I would love nothing more than to return, that pull is gone. I feel a great connection, but I truly think that chapter is closed. I am still waiting for the next "calling" but right now, it is time to focus on me and my health and then we'll see where our hearts lead us.